Sleep Science
by Bright new penny
Summary: She sleeps better when she's sleeping in his bed... CJ and Danny
1. Sleeping Through Chemistry Class

Sleep Science 1/3

CJ and Danny

Disclaimer: as if!

**Sleeping Through Chemistry Class **

Washingon DC Dec. 2006

She sleeps better when she's sleeping in his bed. She used to prefer distance when she slept. She doesn't like to feel smothered. Possessed. Owned.

But when she starts from sleep at the inevitable siren in the streets of Georgetown he talks softly into the back of her neck, until the images of Rosslyn fade and her heart stops pounding. And she finds that the warmth of his arm wrapped around her feels like protection, not entrapment.

She has a hypothesis. This is what she wants. This is what she wants. Is this what she wants? Why does he make this so difficult when it could be so easy? She's not ready to talk and think. She wants to deal with right here and now. Day to day, not future.

Every now and then she catches a glimpse of real life between them and it's terrifying and wonderful. Maybe he can be supportive without being possessive. It occurs to her from time to time that she's in over her head, but she thinks she can hold on. She hasn't figured out that she's all about reaction.

***************

He sleeps better when she's sleeping in his bed. The smell of her shampoo. The soft fine silky texture of her hair against his face.

When he does wake up at night he finds he'd rather lie and listen to her breathing than get up and listen to music or surf the internet or work. And he finds that the warmth of her body curled against him is a buffer against the dreams of deserts and African scrub land that used to haunt him.

He has a conclusion. This is what he wants. This is what he wants. This is what he wants. And why is it so difficult, when relationships for him have always been so easy. He wants to talk, but there's never time, and these days he's thinking way too much. He needs to know where things are going.

Every now and then he catches a glimpse of real life between them and it's terrifying and wonderful. Maybe she can feel supported without feeling possessed. It occurs to him from time to time that he's in over his head, but he thinks he can learn to swim. He hasn't figured out that he's the catalyst for her reaction.


	2. Kinetic Molecular Theory

Sleep Science 2/3

CJ and Danny

Disclaimer: as if!

**Kinetic Molecular Theory: States of Matter**

Santa Monica, California. March 2007

There are days when she wonders if this will ever work. Days of feeling crowded by his presence. Days of feeling if he defers to her one more time she's going to bite his head off and leave his body on the curb. When every straight line motion is a collision course. There are evenings when after a bitter round of accusation she stalks away to sleep in the other bedroom, wrapped in a vapor of self righteous indignation.

She can't stay there. She can't stay angry. She can't really even sleep until she goes back to their bed, and silently slips in beside him. An act of contrition. Never really sure whether he's awake or asleep, until his arm closes around her, solid and secure.

******************

There are days when he wonders if this will ever work. Days of feeling like he's moving underwater. Trying to speak, and making only low sounds that can't be understood. Sliding past each other, but never connecting. Longing for a breath of fresh air. He's not about to let this go. There are evenings when he sees so clearly the kinetic energy overcome the attraction. When the prospect of going to bed alone is such a foregone conclusion that he wishes she's just cut to the chase and say it. It would be so much less damaging than he argument he sees coming.

The first few times it scares him, but there's always a point in the early morning when she slips back into their bed. Quietly, as if he won't waken. As if he hasn't been awake. He wraps an arm around her and feels her melt against him. There are never any words spoken. Just the sound of their breathing is apology enough. A vibration that proximity allows.

In the morning it will be the distant past. An argument that seems so long ago it doesn't bear review. As if the sun coming up brings a change in temperature and a different state of matter.


	3. Calendar Math

Sleep Science 3/3

CJ and Danny

Disclaimer: as if!

**Calendar Math**

Santa Monica, California. July 2007

She's in Kenya and he sleeps alone. Well, not so much sleeps as avoids sleep. Stays up 'til all hours working on the Bartlet administration book that's taking over his life. Drifts off late at night in front of the T.V. and wakes up in the very early morning to some infomercial on how to lose twenty pounds in two weeks for $39.99. Checks his email constantly, hoping that's she's somewhere near a transmission tower. Makes sure he's home at noon, because she often calls just before going to bed.

And he's grateful in a way not to be in Washington where too many people will recognize his obsessive behavior and casually mention her name just to see him implode.

It's a week before he sleeps in their bed without her, and he hates it.

Ten days before he realizes that he's lingering in their closet in the morning, just because it smells of her perfume.

Two weeks before he's waiting at LAX, much too early for her plane.

*****************

He's in Sarajevo and she sleeps alone. Well not so much sleeps as drops into unconsciousness. Schedules early morning meetings, and spends too much time at the gym so she can make herself physically exhausted. Calls him in middle of the day so her voice won't betray how much she misses him.

And she's grateful in a way not to be in Washington where too many people will recognize her frenetic behavior and casually mention his name just to see her explode.

It's a week before she realizes that she can stretch out across the whole bed, and it makes her lonely.

Ten days before she starts sleeping in one of his t shirts, just for the comforting smell of him when she wakes up at night.

Two weeks before she's waiting at LAX, much too early for his plane.


	4. Nurture vs Nature

Sleep Science 4/4

CJ and Danny

Disclaimer: as if!

**Nurture vs. Nature**

Santa Monica, California. Dec. 2008

She sleeps better when she's sleeping in their bed. The nighttime world is not so vast and empty. There are no monsters here. And as she wriggles between them her father's hand gently rubs her back until she drifts to sleep. And when she starts awake from some amorphous nightmare her mother's sleepy voice whispers, "Ssshhh… Sshhh… you're okay…" as she settles back to sleep, one tiny hand entangled in her mother's hair.

And when she wakes in the morning, safe in her own bed, she has no memory of the late night venture, down the darkened hall. Only a fleeting impression of her father's strong arms wrapped around her. Only a lingering sensation of her mother's perfume. Only the start of the new day.


End file.
